The rules of Cricket Explained to a foreinger (Funny)

Cricket: As explained to a foreigner...


You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game

Yes Its old but its a goodie!!

And for his next trick: Red will explain the "Off-side" rule in football. ;)

http://www.e-cateringequipment.com/i...ucts/CF297.JPG

these may help:p

Why didn't you tell me this years ago?

The "offside rule" explained for women:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!
At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!
BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!






Go on lads, admit it. Now you also can understand the darned rule too. ;)

That actually makes sense!!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PATRIOT73

http://www.e-cateringequipment.com/i...ucts/CF297.JPG

these may help:p

---

I got one of those in Spain

LOL! :) These remind me of my Dad's explanation of the card game pitch: The high's the high, the low's the low, the jack's the jack and whoever gets the most points wins the game. :)

Best wishes for many sales to all,

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by buttons-and-bows

I got one of those in Spain

---

chinnese junk bazaar

Tiddly Winks Do They Have Rules?

Can anyone explain the rules of Baseball or American Football?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rednosty

Cricket: As explained to a foreigner...


You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game

Yes Its old but its a goodie!!

---

AND - the game can go for 5 days & end in a draw!
All perfectly logical to me Red.;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tony41

Can anyone explain the rules of Baseball or American Football?

---

Obviously not :)

When I was in my early sixties, I was working with a young Portuguese who was about 22 and had been here since he was 14.

We were speaking about the difficulties of dealing with a different education system especially when dealing with a different language. We eventually got around to talking about games; he'd found them OK excepting cricket. "I used to play," he said, "and was about average, nothing special but...." He looked forlornly puzzled. "I could never tell when the game had finished!"

I commiserated and added "I'm from mid Wales originally and have always had exactly the same problem. And when they give the scores, they might just as well be speaking a far Eastern language. I think it's the only form of English I've never quite mastered. Personally I prefer the Shipping Forecast."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tony41

Can anyone explain the rules of Baseball or American Football?

---

Think of our brand of football as trench warfare.
That might help.

Reminds me of a sceen from the movie "the mouse that roared"?
Or was that rugby, not football?

The want to explain the rules to me as well, and football, i understand rugby, knock , kick, bash, Jump on, grab by the shirt and rip it off, kick as high as you can to get it through the goal posts in the air.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by buttons-and-bows

The want to explain the rules to me as well, and football, i understand rugby, knock , kick, bash, Jump on, grab by the shirt and rip it off, kick as high as you can to get it through the goal posts in the air.

---

Well of course! I understand Rugby as well..."Never mind the ball! Play the man!!!!"

:D

The rules of American football....well now...let's stand around and think about it....;)

To all members either side of the pond...I've only ever understood Rugby...and I do try sometimes...honestly!

I heard a quote today that might help:

"Rugby is a game for thugs, played by gentlemen.
Football is a game for gentlemen, played by thugs".