Bottle feeding:
An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense:
What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.
Drooling:
How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter:
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback:
The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name:
What you call your child when you're mad at him.
Grandparents:
The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
Hearsay:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out:
What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal:
When your life was still somewhat your own.
Prepared childbirth:
A contradiction in terms.
Puddle:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off:
A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize:
What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom:
The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums:
What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning:
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal:
Able to whine in words.
Whodunit:
None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops:
An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."
