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44735

While replacing some roof tiles, my friend fell off the ladder.

His ankle broken, he called out for help and his neighbor's four-year-old came to his side.

"Don't worry," she said, disappearing...

Love it , WooHoo !

Songs for Aging Baby Boomers

Herman's Hermits -- "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker "

The Rolling Stones -- "You Can't Always Pee When You Want "

Paul Simon--"Fifty Ways to Lose Your...

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the
teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made...

Top 5 reasons why computers might be female . . .


5. No one but their creator understands their logic.

4. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for
future...

44494

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college
in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum
Practical Applications for Living in the Real World.

The day after I...

On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in
an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet.

"I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my
wardrobe is ten years old,"...

Too funny ! Thanks Cheavers !


New York's Kennedy International Airport, my father noticed a huge
hamburger displayed on the cover of a cafe menu.
"I'll take the 'jumbo jet,'" he told the...

A new study has found that women with large backsides
live longer than men who mention it.

The secret of enjoying a good wine: Open the bottle and
allow it to breathe. If it doesn't look like it's breathing,
give it mouth-to-mouth.

We took my sons, ages seven and five, up to Friendship Park for a picnic.

My seven year old read the sign with the playground rules to his brother.

"Do not jump on the merry-go-round when in...

My son had just turned 15 when I finally decided to talk to him about sex.

To ensure private time, I brought him on a ski trip and began our
talk on the chair lift so he couldn't escape. "Do you...

"You just go ahead," the man in the shopping mall said to his wife.

"While you're shopping, I'll just browse in the hardware store."

An hour later, she returned and saw him at the checkout...

After receiving the news that our son had been born, both sets of
grandparents arrived at the hospital together.

Just getting out of the car was quite an ordeal since all four were in various...

After earning my degree in broadcast journalism, I was fortunate to land a job as a disc jockey at a top-rated local radio station.

One day before work, I stopped by my parents' house, where my...

I know everyone in our small town, but when a soldier walked into our convenience store, I couldn't place him.
"Are you from here?" I asked.
"Yes," he said. "Why?"
"I haven't seen you before." ...

43955

A friend of mine heard this on a pre-flight announcement from an
American Airlines pilot: "On our flight today, we will be flying at
34,000 feet. To give you an idea of how high that is, we would...

Although I was only a few pounds overweight,
my wife was harping on me to diet. One evening
we took a brisk walk downtown, and I surprised
her by jumping over a parking meter, leapfrog style.
...

IMPORTANT: This message is intended for the use of
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Signs Your Cat Is Too Fat


Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.

Confused guests constantly mistaking him for a beanbag chair.

Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens....

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43565

After being retired for a couple of years and completing
the ' Honey Doo ' my wife had lined up for me, I began to feel
somewhat bored and decided to enroll in a couple of
courses at the local...

The wife was very disappointed and quite upset over me forgetting her birthday .

My response ?
" How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you
never look any older ? "

SENIOR ALPHABET
A for arthritis,
B for bad back,
C is for chest pains. Perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental replacements and decline,
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line?
F is for...

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

43094