Goodbye Mum

[wyocowgirl1]

Looks like a lot of good suggestions have been made and I can't think of anything to add, so I'll just add my condolences and a wish for your well being.

[deltadelta48]

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you over these next rocky days.

Concerning funerals, my mom's best friend died very unexpectedly a few weeks ago. The funeral was a celebration of her life, with slide show with pictures of her as a young bride, holding the babies (who are now in their 60s), with the grand and great grand babies, in their first house, at her four son's college graduations, baking pies, celebrating the holidays, etc. Her crochet afghans were on chairs in the room with her hooks and yarn. So were her well worn baking pans. It was so wonderful to celebrate her life that way. We all went to a dinner afterward and everyone compared stories from the old neighborhood, visited and laughed about some of the antics we kids got into and how patient she was with us (her boys were always bringing up snakes for her to take care of). It was a good experience because she was such a good woman and we all miss her so much. Having that kind of funeral really helped everyone to remember her life and not the way she died.

Find out the cause. In our family we have started to see some serious medical conditions like pancreatic cancer, inherited, but we have no idea who carried the disease, as no post morts were done on so many relatives who died quickly or unexpectedly. For you and your family's sake, find out what happened.

Take care Santa and give the family hugs from all of us.

[pearlygirl555]

So sorry to learn of your family's loss Santa; my thoughts go out to all who knew and loved your mom.

In addition to the other thoughtful and helpful advice given here, I'd like to add a piece that may seem pretty stupid.....just this.....breathe. Deep breaths, which sometimes will lead to tears but will always move you a little further down the path of the healing which comes after a loved one passes. It can be so challenging to hold oneself together for the many administrative and family situations that crop up! During the losses I've faced, and the losses I've been privy to as a hospice volunteer, those few deep breaths in a quiet place plus the release of emotions that follow, have helped get from one situation to the next.

(((Hugs all around)))

[SantasWonderland]

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you over these next rocky days.

Concerning funerals, my mom's best friend died very unexpectedly a few weeks ago. The funeral was a celebration of her life, with slide show with pictures of her as a young bride, holding the babies (who are now in their 60s), with the grand and great grand babies, in their first house, at her four son's college graduations, baking pies, celebrating the holidays, etc. Her crochet afghans were on chairs in the room with her hooks and yarn. So were her well worn baking pans. It was so wonderful to celebrate her life that way. We all went to a dinner afterward and everyone compared stories from the old neighborhood, visited and laughed about some of the antics we kids got into and how patient she was with us (her boys were always bringing up snakes for her to take care of). It was a good experience because she was such a good woman and we all miss her so much. Having that kind of funeral really helped everyone to remember her life and not the way she died.

Find out the cause. In our family we have started to see some serious medical conditions like pancreatic cancer, inherited, but we have no idea who carried the disease, as no post morts were done on so many relatives who died quickly or unexpectedly. For you and your family's sake, find out what happened.

Take care Santa and give the family hugs from all of us.

Thank you for your kind words, that's what I want to do celebrate her life rather then mourning her death. Given me the idea of havinfg some of her art on display.

[SantasWonderland]

So sorry to learn of your family's loss Santa; my thoughts go out to all who knew and loved your mom.

In addition to the other thoughtful and helpful advice given here, I'd like to add a piece that may seem pretty stupid.....just this.....breathe. Deep breaths, which sometimes will lead to tears but will always move you a little further down the path of the healing which comes after a loved one passes. It can be so challenging to hold oneself together for the many administrative and family situations that crop up! During the losses I've faced, and the losses I've been privy to as a hospice volunteer, those few deep breaths in a quiet place plus the release of emotions that follow, have helped get from one situation to the next.

(((Hugs all around)))

Not a stupid idea at all and it works fine. when I feel myself losing some deep breaths a few sobs and i'm able to continue with most things. Thank you

[deltadelta48]

Thank you for your kind words, that's what I want to do celebrate her life rather then mourning her death. Given me the idea of havinfg some of her art on display.

Glad to hear it. That was the best experience all of us had. Everyone was crowded around the slide show and watched it again and again. Then they looked at all her handiwork, and remembered her. There were pictured on each table too. It became more personal.

And it is traditional here to go out to lunch/dinner with family after service. And was great too. Everyone shared, the grand kids played and ate fried chicken, it was wonderful.

[deltadelta48]

So sorry to learn of your family's loss Santa; my thoughts go out to all who knew and loved your mom.

In addition to the other thoughtful and helpful advice given here, I'd like to add a piece that may seem pretty stupid.....just this.....breathe. Deep breaths, which sometimes will lead to tears but will always move you a little further down the path of the healing which comes after a loved one passes. It can be so challenging to hold oneself together for the many administrative and family situations that crop up! During the losses I've faced, and the losses I've been privy to as a hospice volunteer, those few deep breaths in a quiet place plus the release of emotions that follow, have helped get from one situation to the next.

(((Hugs all around)))

I agree. And do what you feel. My neighbor lost his mom last month, and her birthday was a few days ago. He told us he took a long walk with the dog, went into the woods and sang Happy Birthday to his mom there. He said it felt so good.

[redmerlin777]

My deepest sympathyto you all.
It's a horrible time. As you say it's all unreal.
My only words of comfort to you is that somehow you will find strength to cope.
Advice is hard to give. Do talk about your feelings. Don't be afraid to open up to friends. Talking about your experience over and over again helps to get you emotions and brain round the whole traumatic experience. Talk to your family. They probably want to talk too and it will help you all come to terms a little with your loss.
Time will ease the pain but you will never forget and still hurt inside for many months. Be prepared to allow yourself time to cry and grieve.
Be gentle on yourself.

[OKaysions]

Hi Santa,
Just to let you know that prayers are being said for you and your family for now and for the weeks that are ahead, I hope that you will recieve a touch of Gods grace in your life, lean on him he is able to carry you through this time of sadness, He will wipe away each and every tear you cry. I don't know if you believe or not. but please may I share a poem with you that I have written for such a time as this.

This time maybe full of heartache,
This time may bring you pain.
But Our Father which art in heaven,
Has called His loved one, by her name.
He’s given her a perfect new body,
And she worships at His throne.
She sees Him in all His Glory,
His child has now come home.
He has called His faithful servant,
And now her eyes can see.
What a privilege to be close to a Loving Saviour,
Throughout Eternity.


hugs to you and your family from Kady

[Gill]

What more can one say than what hasn't been said already Santa?

Here's just a few words that may help you all. Many of us have been/going through the same as you.

Gather strength from those around you
Though you feel like letting go
Let God's loving arms surround you
Because he loves you so
Know that others feel like you do
Feel the sadness and the pain
So open up your heart to Him
Don't ever feel alone again

.........

Remember the good times and not the bad
Think of her and don't be sad
Laugh and cry, she's in your heart
She'll always be your mum

xxx