How the fight got started!
How the Fight
Started...
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One
year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked
him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you
last year!"
And that's how the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
My
wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I replied
"Dust".
And that's how the fight
started....
************************************************** **********
A
woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look
old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The
husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's how
the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
My
wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She
said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And that's how the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
I
asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It
warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she
said.
So I replied, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the
fight
started...
************************************************** **********
My
wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final
answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply said,
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's
when the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
When
I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
I
tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I
told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold
cream.
And that's when the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
My
wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed,
"She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after
we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since."
"My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight
started...
************************************************** ************
I
rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!
He stormed over to my
car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I looked
down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And that's when
the fight
started...
************************************************** **********
I
took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said,
"Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for
herself."
And that's when the fight started...
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Originally Posted by charista2
Great for a laugh to break up my afternoon when I should be working. *shifty eyes*
Good ones.
