IDIOTS
Number OneIdiot
of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away.
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Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s..
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned
out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
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Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of America , walked into the Branch and wrote
this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note
and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street
to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the WellsFargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the
man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at Bank of America .
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Number Four Idiot of 2008
A motorist was
unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his
speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received
in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
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Number Five Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over
21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the
Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got
off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
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Idiot Number Six of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run.
He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window.. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It
seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event
was caught on videotape.
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Idiot Number Eight of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin )
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative
office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think
this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.