How would you deal with Bullying

[burgyeb]

My advice would be as follows:

1. Get Union representation.
2. Get your Service's Policy on 'Bullying and Harassment'
3. Get a copy of your Service's 'Greivance Procedure'
4. Arrange an 'around-the-table' meeting with your line manager, their representative and your union rep.
5. Explain to them you feel bullied and it's affecting your life and you want it to stop.

This should have the effect of showing you to be taking the higher ground and trying to remedy the situation. You can make it clear that if it continues you will move to the formal Grievance Procedure, which would affect their promotion prospects. And it will strenghthen your position, but more importantly, stop the bullying.

Good luck!

Superb advise. Step by step plan that can be executed right away.

[bykimbo]

Superb advise. Step by step plan that can be executed right away.

And doesn't include anything iffy, risky, or otherwise questionable. Keep it official, don't try to be clever. Absolutely.

[moonwitch]

Request a transfer in writing to another ward or dept stating the reasons.

You might not be the only one being bullied so ask your fellow workers if they have had a problem with this person.

Keep times and dates in a log.

As someone just mentioned try to record these incidents .

I was going to suggest attempting to get co-workers on-side

When my son was at college there was one tutor who got students on their own to bully them

Sometimes this is what they do...you might find your up line manager isn't just bullying you

[Salomina27]

You have my utmost sympathy. Like ByKimbo said I hate bullies too, detest them!
Unfortunately as has been pointed out by others like Fossy etc this happens all too often with those high up, power freaks AND control freaks! Too much money invested in them instead of in patient care and better wages for those worthy of it on the lower end that do such an incredible job for the public, as you obviously do! Its just unbelievable :-/
Not only is your work undermined by this pathetic, insecure, money grabbing power freak, but you are having your health and wellbeing compromised daily. This is totally unacceptable
As Moonwitch pointed out this bullying is likely to extend further, even if you are the main one getting it at present.
There has been some good advice offered here already as to what you can do. It is good to try and keep your head and 'go by the book' even though those other tactics are tempting, helpful and CAN work in some situations, they can also be dangerous or fall flat, especially when you are fighting not just one person but an institution with a lot of clout (as has been pointed out the NHS are notorious for closing ranks highup, also bullying and have a lot of power and theyre not the only ones) keeping a diary is imperative, this IS used down the line and will help your case a lot . Getting other co workers on board as Moonwitch said, also helpful, Suesjools advice too. You have to fight fire with fire but also use your head and get as much back up and support as you can. Pink Panther was right too. Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer etc
I really feel for you and wish you luck, its not going to be easy. keep talking to us,we're here for you!

[charista2]

Hello,
whatever you do just be careful so you are not isolated because i know in NHS the managers can make life hell, especially the ones without a life.
Whatever she does remember you are a better person.

[burgyeb]

Yes. Ummm..........makes you wonder.

[burgyeb]

And doesn't include anything iffy, risky, or otherwise questionable. Keep it official, don't try to be clever. Absolutely.

When dealing with certain people in power, even "keeping it official" and "playing by the book" can be risky. They are at the level they are because they are willing to do anything to maintain their power base and that of their peers.

I would rather fight, than stay risk free.

[emporiumdays]

I ask this because I am & have been for a few years on & off from the same person.
She is a higher grade than I am & uses this as power over me she is making my life a misery.
I am at the end of my tether now.

Any suggestions would be very welcome thank you in advance.

Many options have been mentioned...

Personally, I would rather not go through all the drama and anxiety of an all out challenge or fight.
I also wouldn't want to go through all the inner turmoil of a drawn out legal type process which could take unexpected twists and turns.

To possibly short cicuit the need for the above you might try to simply go up to her and say ...

" I'm finding things very difficult at the moment.
I really try to do the best I can with my work, I try to get along with everyone I can, and really just want to go about doing my job quietly.
Florence, given the things that have been happening to me, I can't help but feel I'm being bullied. (no need to expand).
If there's something about me that's a problem, please, let me know.
Do you think it's possible I could just be left to quietly go about my tasks without any undue pressure.
I'd really like it if we could all feel part of a team. Could you help me with this please?" (I used "Florence" as her name)

This dialogue MAY NOT BE EASY FOR YOU. - especially if you don't feel they're your OWN sentiments.
However, if you feel there's merit in this approach, (if you're able to 'come from that place'), then it could potentially win her over.

If you're genuine, she will pick up on that sincerity, (hopefully).
The important aspects are to:
1. Not to accuse or attack her,
2. Be mild and very genuine,
3. Afford her dignity and a 'way out' so she can 'save face'.
If you do it right, (based on you believing it to be the right thing to do), then you don't even need to actually say directly that it's her that's the problem. That way she may not feel 'cornered', so may not feel the need to fight back.

If you feel it hasn't worked (perhaps even after a second go a week or two later), then you can always resort to other approaches.

To help you to adopt a good frame of mind with which to speak with her, you could perhaps think of the reasons she might be acting this way ....

* Maybe she's under a lot of pressure herself (either at work or in her private life).
* Maybe she feels somehow threatened by others. (Worried about staying 'On Top' and there may be fear of losing her position to others)
* There's probably heaps of other reasons too.

Speaking with the person themselves may not come easy. Emotions are often involved.
A history has no doubt built up whereby you have 'summed her up' (based on your perception of things). You may well be totally right. She may be a real 'Power freak' or whatever, but she may have a good heart deep down.

Maybe she guenuinely thinks you're a threat to her..... Help her to see that you're not.

Hope this helps. It may or maynot work. But at least you'll have tried the fairest and most direct approach FIRST.
It shows that you are a reasonable person, who isn't just after a battle. Who needs the heartache if you can solve things peacefully.

Kind Regards...

[charista2]

Please do not leave the job you love for one unhappy line manager.
I have seen that happen on my unit so many times.
Make them miserable by smiling.

[burgyeb]

Although I tend to be a fighter Steve, I must admit I do like your approach. I agree in general with what you are saying. However, notice that this is not a short term issue, but..."a few years....from the same person". Notice...."she is making my life a misery" "I am at the end of my tether now" suggest a level of stress that should not be taken lightly.

I think your approach would have been the best approach at the earlier stages of the bullying. Unfortunately this has been going on over an extended period of time. This type of bullying is detrimental to a person's health. Marshalling the courage to respond in the noble way you have described would be difficult for some even at the early stages of the abuse. The energy required may be more difficult as the abusive pattern continues over time.

Only Monique can really answer that question at this point. I would have to agree that if she could take the route you describe it would for sure cut down on the "drama, anxiety, and inner turmoil" that naturally follows a decision to confront a situation (fight). Sometimes there is just no other way.

I always like to hear your level-headed approach to difficult situations. This thread contains some of the most powerful alternative methods and solutions to a serious and difficult challenge that I have ever seen on eBid. Whatever the choice, there will certainly be much good advise and information to make a sound decision.

Your approach of an assertative model is definately the first and best way to go.