Clean Humor Thread

[sucadot]

How dare you, Susan? !!

I should have seen that coming, but I didn't!!

Neither did I!

[sucadot]

A quarter dies and goes to heaven


At his arrival at the gates of heaven, the Lord himself welcomes him while angels play the trumpets. The quarter doesn't believe his eyes as he is being given the most beautiful cloud of all with riches and food and honey for eternity.

The next day the one hundred dollar bill dies. He also rises to heaven but their doesn't appear to be anyone. He pushed the gate open by himself but behind it is nobody but one angel playing on his phone. The one hundred dollar bill asks for his cloud but is given a little filthy grey rainy cloud. As he tries to make himself comfortable in which is doesn't succeed, he sees the quarter on his right partying with all the angels at his enormous white cloud.

Upset he goes to God himself to complain.
"Why does the quarter get the best cloud while I get this stormy trash? I'm more valuable, right?", asks the one hundred dollar bill.

But God responds: yeah, but we didn't see you that much in church.

[Mandart]

[CarnoustieCats]

Effin funny though - Love it x

[FalonTowers]

[Mandart]

[FalonTowers]

[Mandart]

[Mandart]

[sucadot]

A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband’s key in the door. “Stay where you are,” she said. “He’s so drunk he won’t even notice you’re in bed with me.”

The husband lurched into bed, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed.

He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”

“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.

The husband climbed out of bed and counted. One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right.