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Results 1,931 to 1,940 of 1998

Thread: Clean Humor Thread

  1. #1931

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    A man is driving down the road & his car breaks down near a monastery.
    He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"
    The monks graciously accept him, give him dinner, fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.
    A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before.
    The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind.
    He doesn't sleep that night.
    He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.


    The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave.
    Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery & pleads for the answer again.
    The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
    The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."
    The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are & the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk." The man sets about his task.


    After years of searching he returns as a grey- haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks. "In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I travelled the earth & have found what you asked for:
    By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change.
    Only God knows what you ask.
    All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest & reflective & willing to strip away self deception."
    The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."


    The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door." The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door & he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl & diamond. Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear & definite.


    The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, & slowly pushes the door open.


    Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting & seductive sound...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

    But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk……

  2. #1932

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

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  3. #1933

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Visit my clothes store -here
    Look in my treasure in trove ! here
    For
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    Visit my Tazo barhere

  4. #1934

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

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    “When life gives you a Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day” – Ella Woodword

  5. #1935

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    I spotted my neighbour helping himself to our garden furniture.
    I didn't dare say anything to him, in case he took offence.
    Visit my clothes store -here
    Look in my treasure in trove ! here
    For
    soy wax candles, tarts & melts click here
    For trading cards click here
    Visit my Tazo barhere

  6. #1936

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    I Crashed my first car outside the homes of Mr & Mrs Smith & Mr & Mrs Balls...
    Luckily I was pulled out by the Smiths...

  7. #1937

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    ......
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  8. #1938

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    I went to see my doctor today about my awful insomnia.
    He told me to lie on the very edge of my bed, and I would soon drop off.
    Visit my clothes store -here
    Look in my treasure in trove ! here
    For
    soy wax candles, tarts & melts click here
    For trading cards click here
    Visit my Tazo barhere

  9. #1939
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    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

    Dad Jokes of the groan variety

    I walked into a bar the other day,
    I said "ouch"
    It was an iron bar.

    A big hole has mysteriously appeared in the road outside the local Police station,
    The police are looking int it.

    What did the sea say to the beach?
    Nothing, it just waved.

    Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
    Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels

    What has more letters than the alphbet?
    the Post Office

    I like my fingers, I can always count on them.

    I am reading a book about anti-gravity,
    It's impossible to put down.

    I'll get back to my cave now

    Pos
    Graham


    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

  10. #1940

    Default Re: Clean Humor Thread

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    “When life gives you a Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day” – Ella Woodword

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