Clean Humor Thread

[Mandart]

[Mandart]

[sucadot]

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car suddenly breaks-down. They set out to find help, and come to a farmhouse. When they knock on the door, the farmer explains that he has only two beds, and one of the three has to sleep in the barn with the animals.

The three quickly agree. The Rabbi says he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi leaves, there's a knock on the bedroom door. It's the Rabbi, exclaiming, "I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the same room with a pig!"

The Hindu says he would sleep in the barn, as he had no religious problems with pigs. However, about five minutes later, the Hindu suddenly enters the bedroom door saying, "There’s a COW in the barn! I can't sleep in the same room with a cow! It's against my religion!"

The lawyer, anxious to get to sleep, says he'd go to the barn, as he has no problem sleeping with animals. In two minutes, the bedroom door bursts open and the pig and the cow enter...

[cambrensis]

[cambrensis]

[cambrensis]

[moonwitch]

A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination centre, after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home.
When he got home, he called the vaccination centre for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalised.
He was asked to go back to the vaccination centre immediately as he had left his glasses behind.

[sucadot]

A man finds his dog with the neighbour's pet rabbit in its mouth.

The rabbit is dead and the man panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house.

He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbour's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbour asks the man, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"

The man stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?"

The neighbour replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day - but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage.
There are some real sick people out there!"

[sucadot]

A man and a little boy go into the local barber shop.

The man has his hair done and then sits the young man in the chair.
"Now wait here when your finished, I'm just off to do some shopping." says the man and leaves without paying.

Two hours later, the boy's still waiting, when the barber says, "I think your Dad's forgotten you".

The little fella says, "He's not me Dad, we just met outside and he asked me if I wanted a free haircut".

[Mandart]