Why Marry? :)

[suesjools]

WHY MARRY?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
__________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'

__________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
__________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
__________


A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
__________

A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.'
__________

Then there was a woman who said,
'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late.'

__________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
__________

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

__________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
__________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________

'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll just beat him to death'
__________
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up.'

[steve2211]

They do say married men live longer than single men; ironically married men are a lot more willing to die!


http://de-parys-shop.ebid.net/

[TexasAda]

[Pink_Panther]

For the ring?



MMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Come to think of it ...








men marry for pretty much the same reason.

[Salomina27]

Haha, nice one Sue! ...

[Pink_Panther]

Sue?


No!

I've had a peek!


I'm still a bloke!

[sucadot]

lol! good ones Sues


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

[suesjools]

lol! good ones Sues


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

LOL! Or as bf says, the triumph of insanity over sanity. Guess that's why we're not keen on making me #3.

Best wishes for many sales to all,

[shezz]

Ha Ha Ha

Brilliant

[OvertheRainbow4U]

I love this thread.

Mind you, I was married more than once, which didn't convince me of the fact that you really don't know the man you marry until after the fact. However, had a reality check with the last man that I NEARLY dated. Now listen to this.

I nearly met him but he ran away. Jumped into his car & drove off. Stood me up without much explanation.

Later on he calls me and says that the reason he took off was that there was something evil in me, in my looks and the way I walked, so he got scared and ran. No kidding. A grown man in his mid 50's.

I told him that he was acting like a four-year old trapped in the grown man's body, and that he needs to see a doc. I was initially mad at him and thought of telling him that he's borderline retarded, but thought better of it. I googled this episode and came up with autism. I would have never thought of it. As far as I know, autism happens to kids, but adults -- I wouldn't imagine THAT. But apparently, autistic children grow to be adults, which this man is a fine example of. These ppl are best at communicating that is not in person, such as writing letters or on the internet. He however is technologically challenged (doesn't have a computer and doesn't know how to work it LOL). There's been more red flags that I chose to ignore for the time being, but now it all falls into place.

He has told me that he had a head injury as a kid, a car hit him & shattered his left side. My knowledge of anatomy is a bit rusty, so now I'm re-learning what centers are located in the left hemisphere of the brain. Obviously, metaphor understanding, sense of humor and the general comprehension. Math skills, too. I told him on one occasion, you're pushing a carriage before a horse. Everybody knows what this means, right? Oh well, and he immediately says, "What?" I thought he didn't hear me right, so tried to repeat the same thing again, but he didn't get it. Now I know, metaphor-understanding center is located in the left hemisphere, that's for sure.

Oh yea, about 10 minutes prior he calls me and says that he tends to get scared if ppl stare at him. I should have said right then & there, "No, we're not going to meet". Learn to say No LOL. Well, I didn't and see what happened. You live & learn. The next man I'll be talking to, will not get away with ANYTHING, and I mean it.

Aside from the fact that I'll be putting dating on hold for some time, chances are you don't really know your mate before you marry. I am not even thinking about marriage, oh no, not me, and not even dating for some time.

Thanks for the ear. I thought I'd share this so everyone will learn what you might expect. You never know.

Imagine what would happen if you're on the road and some crazy person like that one runs away. I bet he'd take a few red lights, too. Oh boy.