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Thread: A Mother's Dictionary

  1. #1
    Forum Saint JanetB's Avatar
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    Talking A Mother's Dictionary

    Bottle feeding:
    An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

    Defense:
    What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

    Drooling:
    How teething babies wash their chins.

    Dumbwaiter:
    One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

    Family planning:
    The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

    Feedback:
    The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

    Full name:
    What you call your child when you're mad at him.

    Grandparents:
    The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

    Hearsay:
    What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

    Impregnable:
    A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

    Independent:
    How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

    Look out:
    What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

    Prenatal:
    When your life was still somewhat your own.

    Prepared childbirth:
    A contradiction in terms.

    Puddle:
    A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

    Show off:
    A child who is more talented than yours.

    Sterilize:
    What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

    Storeroom:
    The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

    Temper tantrums:
    What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

    Top bunk:
    Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

    Two-minute warning:
    When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

    Verbal:
    Able to whine in words.

    Whodunit:
    None of the kids that live in your house.

    Whoops:
    An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

  2. #2
    Forum Saint suesjools's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Mother's Dictionary

    LMAO!

    Best wishes for many sales to all,

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