Joke thread

[becks75]

No dilemna for a woman, though....



Subject: Dilemna




A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.'

'You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently but your willy was chopped off inthe wreck and we were unable to find it.'

Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on,
'You've got £9000 compensation coming to you and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand pounds an inch.'

The bloke perks up at this.

'So the thing is' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, ifyou had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine incher she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decideonly to invest in a five incher this time she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.

'So' says the doctor 'Have you spoken with your wife?'

'I have.' says the fellow.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'She has' says the bloke.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor. . .
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'We're having a new kitchen.'

[becks75]

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces.





"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope.
Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves..."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked,

"Well, how much does a brain cost?"



The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 fora female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but

some actually smirked. A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask,

"Why is the male brain so much more?"


The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group,

"It's just standard pricing procedure.

We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

[hughpharted]

there was rumour somone cracked thee smile on here
last weeks butt it turned oot they jusst had wind