These classified ads were really put in the paper

[ejean9]

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old. Hateful little beggar. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog..

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . .. able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG..
Looks like a rat.. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer $100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE ...
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie..

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Husband knows f *****g everything.

[shadow73]

very good

[candlebridge]

Oh I love the one about the know-it-all husband!! That's a classic! Thanks for the giggle!

[foxescome]

ROFL

thanks exotic

[ejean9]

ROFL

thanks exotic

makes me feel all full of mystery when you call me exotic

[Cocksparrer]

Ah this made my day rofl

[foxescome]

Well that's nice

Better than what I've been called in the stupid thread, they think I'm the Devil and also Strange

[iwiw60]

Tooooo funneeeeee!!!

[Deelights]

Rofl!

[bluebedouin]

Oh I love the one about the know-it-all husband!! That's a classic! Thanks for the giggle!

It's even more classic & funny when you know the original said "wife".